Disney Gay Days

I returned to "Gay Days" at Disneyland for the first time since I attended with Ben two years ago. The reclaiming continues!

This time around I went with my increasingly out cousin Roger, my youngest cousin Brad (the one I first came out to), and his girlfriend. The trip was actually in honor of Brad's girlfriend's nephew's birthday. The fact that it was during Gay Days was a (happy) coincidence.

I was a little disappointed that both Brad and his girlfriend seemed a little . . . critical of the idea of Gay Days. They didn't understand the "goal" of it and thought it was inappropriate for a family park.

For those who don't know, Gay Days is not an officially Disney-sanctioned event. But they do a little more than just tolerate it. Certain restaurants in the park even sell rainbow colored cake during the event. Mainly its just your typical day at Disneyland, except with a bunch of people wearing red and a lot more same-sex couples holding hands. Basically it's how I would imagine a day at Disneyland would be like if gays were a little less of a minority than they are now.

I didn't really ask, but I wouldn't be surprised if Brad and his girlfriend have softened their stance now that they have experienced it and didn't witness any debauchery going on.

The most notable thing that happened: I met up with a guy that I had met on Tinder. He lives in LA and was at the park with a huge group of people. It took some time to coordinate, but I finally was able to meet him (briefly) outside the Haunted Mansion. Later on I joined his group to ride the Cars ride at California Adventure. After that, most of his group went home so he and his female friend joined the four of us to attend World of Color and ride Space Mountain.

We seemed to click quite well. At the Mad Tea Party (basically the Disney version of a rave if you can imagine that, haha) we even ended up kissing a little bit. He initiated. I was very self-conscious kissing in a Disney theme park, but it was nice. During World of Color he put his arm around me, and I reciprocated. At Space Mountain we rode together. When we parted we kissed again. I made a somewhat impulsive comment about not wanting to make a scene. He responded by saying it wasn't the first time that two guys made out at Disney. I don't know . . . I know it shouldn't bother me but I guess I'm still not super comfortable with PDA. I realize that most of the making out I have done with guys has been in private. Ben was even more shy about that than me, so I never ran into this issue with him.

It was kind of odd meeting him for the first time while with my family. At some points I was walking and talking with him instead of my cousins, which made me a little self-conscious. But he's super nice and got along well with everyone.

In any case, we made tentative plans to have a proper date this coming weekend. During the week we each came up with separate ideas of things we could do in LA. Ultimately we decided to do them both: one on Saturday night and one on Sunday night. I know two dates in one weekend might be a lot for someone I just met, but I'm not too worried. He seems like a really cool guy, and both events sound super fun.

As if that's not enough, another guy from Tinder wanted to meet up, so I've made lunch plans with him for tomorrow. One minor detail: he lives right near Ben. The first restaurant he suggested is just a couple blocks away from Ben's house, and is a place we went to together several times. Suffice it to say I wasn't quite comfortable having a first date with a new guy in that neck of the woods, especially since it would be my first time going back. So I suggested we meet in Silver Lake instead.

So, looks to be another fun weekend. I look forward to getting to know Disney Guy better. I'm also glad I have another date so I'm not putting all my eggs in one basket.

Said and done

Question 4

When it’s all said and done, will you have said more than you’ve done?

Logical answer: Yes. Easier said than done, so likely said will outweigh done.

But this is more of a thought-provoking question rather than one that calls for an actual answer.

My twenties are in the past. My "youth" years are fleeting. Definitely my problems have been 1) developing a life focus and all that comes with it, including goals, plans, etc., 2) getting out of my own way and allowing myself to follow my heart and true interests instead of what I feel I "should" do, and 3) learning to take chances, put myself out there, and take risks.

I feel I am making progress in these respects. But is the progress fast enough? Developing my improv comedy hobby has been a major blessing for me. It has allowed me to express my creativity, which has been a treasured part of my personality ever since I was a little kid but has been tragically underutilized during my adult life. As for the rest of my life though, I feel like I haven't really "done" much. I'm still in exploratory mode, but that can't last forever.

I want to find someone to share my life with. I want to develop myself into the strong, confident person that I know I have the potential to be. I want to live a life of meaning. I want to enhance the lives of those I love. 

Maybe I do have goals after all.

Different priorities

The radio silence from Tinder Guy finally got too much for me, so I decided to text him and bid him farewell, saying that I assumed his nonresponsiveness was an indication that he did not want to meet up again.

He texted back and apologized for not responding. He said that he is busier than ever before finishing up his PhD, and he really needs to focus on that "without distractions." He said he hoped I understood. I said I did, and left it at that.

So this is two guys from Tinder (him and Beach Guy) who I really liked, but who aren't serious about dating because of other issues (discontent with career and desire to move for Beach Guy, focus on schoolwork for Tinder Guy). I'm beginning to wonder whether I should give Match.com another try. Since it's paid I feel like I'd be more likely to find guys on there who are actually serious about finding a relationship.

My cousin Brad and his girlfriend are visiting LA this weekend. On Sunday we're planning to go to Disneyland. Incidentally, it is Gay Days this weekend. Last time I went to Gay Days at Disneyland was two years ago with . . . Good! The reclaiming continues.