Cast of characters

Partially for my benefit, and also for the benefit of anyone who might find what is written here interesting enough to follow, I will summarize some of the more prominent people in my life. All names have been changed, so this will help me keep their pseudonyms straight!

So without further adieu, here is the cast of characters in the life of Cal . . .

Family

My mom: She has long been one of my closest confidants. Coming out to her was difficult and it took several years to complete the process, but now she is totally supportive. Though Republican she is generally very open-minded and relatively socially liberal. Lives in the Midwest with my dad.

My dad: I've always had a good relationship with him, though he is not the most communicative person. He is very outspokenly conservative, which made it very hard for me to come out to him. Turns out he's more libertarian than anything else, so the whole gay thing doesn't bother him. He still doesn't support gay marriage though.

Gavin, Roger, and Brad: My three cousins. They are my best friends in the world and among the first people I fully came out to. Gavin is the older one that lives on the east coast, has a great job and is dating a model. Roger is the one who also lives in So Cal and is most likely gay as well, but not out (to his family at least, including me!) Brad is the youngest one, and though our age difference is the greatest I am closest to him. We are intellectually very similar and he is the first person I fully came out to.

In addition to them I have two sisters, and several nephews, nieces, uncles and aunts, and a couple other cousins.

Friends

Janice: My only close female friend, she is like a sister to me. People used to think we were related, or a couple. She, along with my mom and Brad, is one of my closest confidants, though I don't really see or talk to her that often these days.

Walter: My good friend that I've known since high school. 

Tom: A friend who has become close over the years. He has a rather interesting personality that can be a little much at times, and is socially rather awkward. However he has proved to be a very loyal friend and has given me a lot of support over the years.

Phillip: A college friend who is among my closest friends.

YouTubeGuy, aka Steven: Now that this guy has become one of my good friends I think he deserves a proper pseudonym. I met him before my coming out process by finding his YouTube channel. He lived across the country back then but has since moved to Northern CA with his boyfriend, Jack. He played a huge role in my coming out process, as we supported each other over long distance. We got into relationships around the same time.

Jack: Steven's boyfriend, who has become a good friend in his own right. Since Steven is so busy with work and is not the best texter, I often communicate with Jack instead.

Lance: One of my best friends from college. I pretty much fell in love with him back then, which was the major event that got me questioning my sexuality. Oh, and he's straight, and I never told him about that. He dropped off of the radar for several years, which hit me hard, but eventually we got back in touch. Now my feelings for him are long gone and we are just friends.

Sam: A friend that I met through an online dating site. I used to refer to him as my "Breakup Buddy" since we both went through tough breakups in 2013 and supported each other. We still provide each other a listening ear when memories of our past relationships get us down.

Wes: A friend that I met on Grindr. We dated for about a month. I appreciated his emotional availability, but ultimately I called it off because I just wasn't feeling enough of a connection and I was afraid of hurting him like I had been hurt in the past. He took it hard, but we were able to remain friends. He has since befriended a bunch of my friends and often will come to get-togethers (even when I can't!)

Nina: A college friend who is quite a wild girl but is also a very sweet, considerate person. She has had plenty of experience with both guys and girls but now has a long-term relationship with a rather low-key guy who compliments her quite well. She often organizes get-togethers and also enjoys trying to make me over or set me up with guys (the one time she tried it ended up being a straight guy . . . oops!)

Bill: Another gay friend I met online. He has become a cool friend to hang out with. He lives a bit far from me so I don't see him often.

Jake: One of the first guys I went out with. He's an Aussie that didn't quite feel a spark with me, but we have remained friends since then. I don't see him too often, but he was definitely an important part of my coming out process.

Other

Ben: My emotionally troubled ex who I fell in love with and got dumped by after I had let my guard down. I don't want to ruminate too much about him on this blog for fear of turning into a broken record, but since he is still on my mind a lot (and he is at this time the only person I have had a serious relationship with), his name is bound to come up. For the full story, both the good times and bad, see my old blog.