It has finally happened. The first major career move since I came out five years ago. I applied for a new job, and I have been offered the position. It will require a move to LA. This will be the first time I've lived in a major city; up until now, I've been strictly in the suburbs. I'm excited, and a little nervous. It will be difficult to leave my current job as I really do love the people I work with, but a change is long overdue.
Last weekend was LA Pride. I went out to the bars with some friends. It really seems like guys get bolder during Pride. A guy started hitting on me and called me "rugged" (probably because I'm rocking facial hair right now). We kissed, and I told him I'd be back after I got a drink at the bar. I couldn't find him again. D'oh! He was cute too!
There was another interaction in the bar that wasn't quite so complimentary. A guy caught me standing next to my friends with my arms crossed. He came up to me and said, "Are you gay?" I answered affirmatively and he said, "You're super cute, but you need to fix the way you're standing." He repositioned my hands and had me straighten my back, then he went about his business. Later on he saw me in a more acceptable position and gave me a thumbs up. I wasn't even offended, I just thought it was funny.
I also spotted a guy I recognized from the dating apps. We hadn't talked in a while, but I had thought he was really cute. I decided (perhaps emboldened by a little liquid courage) to introduce myself. I followed up later on by sending him a message, and we've been chatting a bit ever since. I hope to meet up with him properly soon, especially since he lives in the area of LA that I plan to move to.
Otherwise on the dating front, I reactivated my paid Match account. I hadn't used it since my breakup with Ben. I've met two really nice guys on it. One was really into me. So naturally, I didn't feel the same way. I gave it five dates, but it was clear to me that I just wasn't excited about him. Still, because he was so nice and sweet I did feel bad for ending it. But, especially with my impending move, I just don't want to get seriously involved with someone, especially if I don't feel strongly about them.
I'm trying to figure out if there is a pattern in the guys I'm attracted to vs. not. I feel like it might have something to do with our dynamic. Even though I'm not the most aggressive or dominant guy, I do feel like I probably want to be the more dominant one in the relationship, or at least feel equal. After all, part of attraction is how someone makes you feel about yourself, and I don't tend to like feeling doted upon. If a guy never lets me pay for dinner, or is constantly tripping over himself to open doors for me, I don't like it. I'm not sure why. I'll have to continue to work on this.
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