Now, I actually did write a post a week or two ago. But I just didn't feel like posting it. As I recall I was in the middle of a deep funk and consequently the post was a downer. Yeah I've struggled with a bit of the blues lately. It seems that the pendulum has largely swung back to career concerns after being so focused on dating for the year after my relationship ended.
Not to say dating is completely off my radar. In fact, I downloaded Tinder the other day to give it a try. I actually like it pretty well. I've been chatting with a couple of guys. It's way less scuzzy than Grindr. Though I have been casually seeing a guy I met on Grindr lately. He's an academic from Europe and is a real nice guy. He also lives SUPER close to me. He did try to initiate sexual escapades at our second date though. I asked him to slow down and we ended up making out for a good long while. I was only moderately into it. I think I really am like the stereotypical woman in that I need to have an emotional connection in order to want to do anything with someone. Thus when guys move too fast I am not very responsive, which then feeds back into my worries about my sexuality. I am going to see him again, and hopefully I can ask him to slow things down a bit so I can get to know him better before we tongue wrestle again.
I spent the weekend working a special event in San Diego and spent the nights at my friend Ron's house. He's the one who I casually dated from approximately November to January. Things fizzled back then because of the distance and because he didn't reach out very much. I do know that he had some things in his life going on at the time. I had a very good time with him. I got quite tipsy the first night from drinks he made and ended up cuddling and spooning with him throughout that night. The rest of the weekend we didn't get quite so touchy. I'm a bit torn about him. On the one hand, he's one of the few guys post-Ben that I have been able to muster up some feelings for. On the other hand, he lives quite far and doesn't really seem to show much explicit interest in dating again. Though he certainly didn't discourage the cuddling.
Oh, and I'm 30 now. Bye bye 20s. Ugh, I'm not ready! I don't have my life figured out yet!
Alright that's enough for now. I'll write more about my latest life and career musings later. Until then!
