Vicious cycle

Let's see what's new . . .

I went out to dinner with Ali, the guy I had the drunken make out session at the bars with. As I feared, his interest did not carry over sober. We had a fine conversation and have chatted a bit via text since, and he even invited me to go out with his friends on Friday . . . unfortunately I couldn't go. But his interest has definitely waned and he answers texts sporadically. I wasn't quite sure we were a match either, but still, it was disappointing.

I'm definitely falling back into being interested in dating again, even though I started out the year telling myself that I would focus on career. I know relationships are important to me, but still . . . focusing too much on dating gets me frustrated. I start thinking about all the seemingly great matches that didn't like me back the same way (Ben and Thomas being the two prime examples). Or all the ones that flaked on me. Or the ones who live 40 minutes away and feel that is too far to date.

In positive news, my cousin Roger is seeing a guy. The two look like they're on track to be boyfriends, which is very exciting. This will be Roger's first relationship, so I'm pulling for him. Still, the cynic in me is wondering just how long it will be before the guy loses interest and jumps ship. I swear guys, I don't know how to regain my romantic optimism! With my own relationship ending in a blindside dump and every promising guy since then not working out, I feel like I'm in a bit of a vicious cycle. I need to develop a better outlook in order to have a better experience, but only a better experience would allow me to cultivate such an outlook. I guess all I can do is fake it 'til I make it.

I do keep wondering whether I need to move. Either to LA proper or to San Francisco. My friends YouTube Guy and his boyfriend would love it if I moved up to the Bay, and I have a potential lead as as far as a job. But I have such strong roots in So Cal, it would be tough to leave it. We'll see.

Question for discussion: are you driven more by career or by relationships? How much will you sacrifice in one for the other?

A surprise at Pride

Recently I attended Pride with my cousin Roger. Originally, we had intended to only go to see one particular performance, and then we would leave and figure out other things to do. Perhaps see a movie or something. But as seems to happen at Pride, things don't always go according to plan . . .

Midway through the performance, I spotted two familiar faces. One was a guy that I've been Facebook friends with for several years, ever since we met at a mutual friend's birthday party. The other was his friend, who I had met on Grindr last year and went on several dates with (it kind of fizzled out after he got sick and had to cancel on me several times, after which communication died down). I'll call them Tyler and Dan. They were there with a third friend, Ali. All three had been at Pride for most of the day and were already in various stages of intoxication. I'll admit, I had been wanting to hang out with Tyler and his friends for quite some time. Tyler and I live close to one another and I don't have many gay friends that live close by, but all previous attempts to arrange a hang out had fallen through. Now, happenstance had put us in the same place at the same time. The boys were headed to another room of the venue, and Tyler invited Roger and me to come along. Despite the fact that we had come to see the show, we decided to follow them.

Ali seemed to take an immediate liking to me. He complimented me repeatedly throughout the night, telling me I was "so handsome". He was very cute himself. And so, for the second Pride in a row, I ended up finding a boy to tag along with and (once I had ample booze in me) make out with.

Another familiar face popped up during the night. This one belonged to a rather buff guy that I have seen on the dating websites and through mutual friends on Facebook. My only other time seeing him in person was when he was flirting with Roger in a bar about a year ago. Well, turns out the guy is Ali's ex-boyfriend. They seemed to be on good terms though. Although the dynamic between the two of them led to one slightly awkward, slightly awesome moment. Ali's ex had introduced himself to me and was asking me about myself (where do you live, etc.) He then asked, in a rather flirtatious manner, "Where's your boyfriend?" When I responded I didn't have one, he said, "Why not?" Before he could inquire further, Ali appeared and pulled him away. I couldn't hear what he said, but my guess was it was along the lines of "Lay off, he's mine!" It felt good to have two cute guys compete over me, even if they were both drunk, haha.

Roger managed to not drink as much as me (probably because he didn't have someone giving him drinks like Ali was doing for me), so Roger ended up driving us home. Tyler hitched a ride with us, since he lives close by. Dan seemed to be the one looking out for the other members of the group. I always did like him, and was sad that we didn't remain friends after we went out. Well, maybe we will now.

As for Ali, he texted me this morning. The first text was, of course, "Who are you?" He hadn't recorded my name with the number. Unfortunately, he did not remember kissing last night (he had to ask if we had). Fortunately, he did remember liking me, and has definitely followed through with making plans to meet up again. Let's hope I like him when he's sober! I did find out that he's 7 years younger than me, which was a bit of a surprise. I had assumed that he was the same age as Tyler and Dan. I suppose it's not that big a deal. I know I haven't had the best luck with guys in the 22-24 age range, but then again I haven't really had all that much luck with other ages either.

Here's to a fun night out, and a bit of an ego boost!