Sunday, July 10, 2016

Vicious cycle

Let's see what's new . . .

I went out to dinner with Ali, the guy I had the drunken make out session at the bars with. As I feared, his interest did not carry over sober. We had a fine conversation and have chatted a bit via text since, and he even invited me to go out with his friends on Friday . . . unfortunately I couldn't go. But his interest has definitely waned and he answers texts sporadically. I wasn't quite sure we were a match either, but still, it was disappointing.

I'm definitely falling back into being interested in dating again, even though I started out the year telling myself that I would focus on career. I know relationships are important to me, but still . . . focusing too much on dating gets me frustrated. I start thinking about all the seemingly great matches that didn't like me back the same way (Ben and Thomas being the two prime examples). Or all the ones that flaked on me. Or the ones who live 40 minutes away and feel that is too far to date.

In positive news, my cousin Roger is seeing a guy. The two look like they're on track to be boyfriends, which is very exciting. This will be Roger's first relationship, so I'm pulling for him. Still, the cynic in me is wondering just how long it will be before the guy loses interest and jumps ship. I swear guys, I don't know how to regain my romantic optimism! With my own relationship ending in a blindside dump and every promising guy since then not working out, I feel like I'm in a bit of a vicious cycle. I need to develop a better outlook in order to have a better experience, but only a better experience would allow me to cultivate such an outlook. I guess all I can do is fake it 'til I make it.

I do keep wondering whether I need to move. Either to LA proper or to San Francisco. My friends YouTube Guy and his boyfriend would love it if I moved up to the Bay, and I have a potential lead as as far as a job. But I have such strong roots in So Cal, it would be tough to leave it. We'll see.

Question for discussion: are you driven more by career or by relationships? How much will you sacrifice in one for the other?